Saturday, June 18, 2011

Lessons on Love

Warning: This is quite long to read but mind will really realize that some of the details are true. It may not be your personal experience, but I'm sure you have seen it on somebody else's shoe....enjoy the lessons!

You must learn that "affectional" love and individuals both have their limitations.

-Don’t let that feeling of boredom and routine creep in … Try to find ways to make the relationship exciting and most of all, keep in mind that in every situation the same familiar feeling will occur … it is just a cycle!

You feel you can only love that certain person you found, when in actuality there are ten thousand members of the opposite sex you would love even more if you ever met them, but, of course, you’ll never meet them all.

-Sometimes when one is in such a hurry to have a relationship, this happens. Don’t take the plunge if that is the case!

A realistic lasting love is a "we" feeling. You must learn that love and individuals both have their limitations.

-Always be considerate of your partner . Remember, no other person can understand you better!

Do you see yourself when you look in your partner’s eyes?

-A metaphor… if you don’t sense a strong compatibility with your partner,
you’re better off with someone else.

Do you and your partner each respect each other as individuals?

-Either one sided or no mutual respect = time to leave.

Does your partner serve as an important resource for you in a way that you care about?

-If your partner does little to enhance your life and you wouldn’t lose anything important to you by leaving, then leave. You’ll break even by being on your own and gain tremendously by finding someone else who is a resource to you.

Does your relationship have the demonstrated capacity for forgiveness?

-If you can’t forgive each other’s transgressions, then resentment will gradually replace love.

Do you and your partner have fun together?

-A relationship that’s no fun is dead.

Do you and your partner have mutual goals and dreams for your future together?

-If you aren’t planning to spend your future together, something’s terribly wrong. Time to take off.

How do you keep the love alive?

-Be intimate with one another – share secrets and affection; this is a relationship, not a one-night stand.

What is more exciting and exhilarating than falling in love? Is there anything?

-Falling in love can be the start of a loving relationship, but lasting relationships don’t just happen; they grow. In many ways nurturing a relationship is like tending a garden. Neglect it and it dies. Constant care and cultivation – including the following suggestions – are needed to keep love alive and growing.

-One of the chief ingredients of love is to give another person your presence. Without presence, love receives an invitation to die.

-Presence is not only spending physical time with another person but also giving him or her your undivided attention when you are with them.

-It includes being sensitive to his/her feelings and aware of his/her needs. It means not only hearing with your ears but, much more so, hearing with your heart.

-Love is accepting responsibility. Most of us bring the excess baggage of unresolved issues from the past into our close relationships. If we desire to stay in love, it is imperative that each of us accepts the responsibility for resolving our inner conflicts that cause dissension in our present relationships. We were not responsible for our upbringing but we are now totally responsible for what we do about resolving any negative effects our past had on us.

-Love is more than sex. It is much more than a physical relationship and also emotional. The man who ignores the emotional needs of his partner and expects to receive a warm response in bed is inviting frustration. Women are not machine to be turned on at will.

-Love is a commitment. Love that lasts is a commitment of one imperfect person to another imperfect person. It means that no matter what, I am committed to you and to your growth. I will be what you need me to be – not necessarily what you want me to be.

-I guess I’d still feel uncomfortable being alone for a long period of time, but I think the goal isn’t not feeling uncomfortable but being able to go on with my life, and this is something I’ve done already. You feel so proud of yourself afterwards!! You show yourself how strong you can become. I want to be something. I don’t want to just have something to make up for it. So I’m working on ways to help myself grow and do my own thing. ::sigh:: and while it does feel nice. Well, it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done so far…

If your relationship does not deliver all the levels you expected, then the negative gap opens and degenerates, a gap that widens as you find that what you expected and what you actually see and feel are two different things.

-You need to stop dreaming the impossible dream and having impossible expectations of utopia. Instead you wind up disillusioned, disappointed and crushed by the whole thing.

-You erroneously feel that your expectations were realistic, but you just had the wrong person.

-This myth is very painful to give up. Reality intrudes.

Singles now seek a partner as an embodiment of all their unrealistic fantasies.

-When the partner cannot live up to these unrealistic expectations, they part bitterly.

You must learn to love life, to learn to grow and change.

-When you learn to love life, to love growth and aliveness in general, love children, love ideas, and to love a man or woman, you find you can love many things and many times. Love and love again; with mature, realistic expectations.

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